Sharing some blessings ...

Since it's been so long since my last post, it's time I share the blessings God has given me over the past couple months. Just to update from the last post on Andrew ... he had the surgery and healed just fine. He said it doesn't feel as if it helped, but we'll still go through with the other foot. We just aren't sure of when. He did have a reaction to the betadyne (sp) they used for surgery and had a very irritating rash. So as a result, he'll be seeing an allergist, I think, to figure out just what exactly he's allergic to.

Not too long after Andrew had his surgery, I had my shunt removal. So now I am shunt free! Before the shunt removal, the doctors had to do a test where they injected a dye in the shunt I had to see if it wasn't working. They only wanted to take it out if my body was doing everything on it's own. I was really nervous about the procedure because it involved a needle in my head while I was awake. I remember crying when the dr. told me. I was pretty scared. The Lord held my right hand and we made it through it together. :)

So I had my surgery and then two weeks later, which ended up this past Tuesday, we went back in for a wound check. The PA said everything looked great and to come back on December 19. I now can sit at home without a big white bandage on my head. I only put the bandage on if I'm going out and want to wear my hat.

Last week I had a day long appointment with a psychologist to evaluate what sort of speech therapy I will need. My at home nurse informed me that speech therapy helps with memory so that's why they've signed me up to begin. The tests were quite difficult. After I explained to Andrew what sort of questions were asked, he said they sounded very similar to IQ testing. I was in tears by the end of the appointment. For a lot of the questions that I couldn't answer I felt dumb or like a failure. I often felt overwhelmed and just wanted to get out of there. But the Lord helped me through that too.

My at home nurse comes 3 times a week to help with my memory. I've been playing solitaire and boggle a lot lately. Please pray for me next week because I meet with my nurse on Monday & Tuesday & then I have another 2 hour appointment with the psychologist right before we leave for an out of town visit at 12:00. I'm thinking I'll be overwhelmed again! But God is going to help me just like He has up to this point.

That's all for now. We'll be going to church tomorrow. Hopefully Jonathan will stay in his class instead of cry. :) I know he can do it!

Things to pray for:
- Psych. appointment on Wednesday
- Travel mercies on Wednesday & Sunday

I'll be praying with you all. Y'all have a Happy Thanksgiving. Be sure to count your blessings too!

Prayers for Andrew

My sweet hubby goes in for his 6th foot surgery. This time doctors will be taking hardware out. Hopefully this will help with the pain he's been having. We won't know if he'll have the same surgery on his right foot until we see if it works for the left. We will be there at 6:15 to start the process.

Praying for:
- Andrew foot surgery to remove hardware
- His recovery (only supposed to be 2 weeks
- Surgeons

Thanks guys!

The Prognosis

Yesterday, after labs, I met with a new doctor. He's a neurologist (brain dr.) I figured it would be the routine examination, questions, and then the dr. would tell me when to go back for labs. Instead I was met with some quite shocking news. I remember I just sort of sat through the appointment and then vented when I got home. The prognosis is as follows ...

To my understanding, this is what the dr. said. I have 2-5 years and my cancer will reoccur, we just don't know when. Like I said, SHOCKING! The news was not a possibility, it was more like a probability. I didn't even know what to say in the office. I was thankful for the dr. laying it all out for me, honestly and completely. Oh yeah ... MRIs every 2 months.

When I got home I cried to Andrew and Mom about how hard it was to be strong still knowing what lies ahead. I cried about the unknown. I felt mad about doing all my treatments for nothing. (Probably not the case, since I'm here now). And for the first time with this whole cancer stuff, I asked God why? I was aggravated that no one else had told me the tumor would return before, if they knew it. I was told my tumor was 100% resected, at the beginning of my journey.

By the end of the night, after many tears, I knew sleep would help. This morning, I got up and was reminded of the words of encouragement my Mom and Andrew had offered the night before. God is still in control. This hasn't taken Him by surprise. and God WILL get glory if my cancer returns. They were both very helpful in pointing out God's hand in things and listening to my unreasonable fears. Even now, I can't write about all this without crying.

So that's where we're at right now. Every 2 months we'll do MRIs. I'll still do my labs.

Jesus Loves Me

Today I had labs and an appointment with my oncologist about the PET scan and MRI from last week. Only the PET scan was ready for viewing. Now earlier while praying for courage for the IV part, I asked God to make the scans as clear as a reflection if something was wrong. I was thankful though, when Dr. Wanko told me the PET scan looked clean. MRIs will be read later & I see them again next week.

On our way out there was a young man playing "Jesus Loves Me" on a piano in the main lobby. I didn't think anything of it other than, "Hey I know that song!" Later on, when we got home, Mom asked if I had heard what he was playing. It's like God was saying, "See? I took care of something else for ya! I love you!" When I got home, I looked up the lyrics for the song and found a super cool line. It goes ...

Jesus loves me! Loves me still
When I'm very weak and ill
From His shining throne on high
Come to watch me where I lie

Is that not the coolest thing ever?!?!? I love little gifts like that from my Heavenly Father. He's so good to me!

My counts for blood work were all good. The dr. was very happy to see those. Still waiting for the hemoglobin to come up a little more before I have my surgery to remove my shunt.

So that's where we are this week. Mom is going home for a fun camping trip at Disney with Michelle's little family. They are all going to have so much fun!! Pray for their safety.

Yessssss Jesus loves youuuuu!!!! Talk with y'all later!

1,2,3 ... bee sting

Today I had the first of what I think are many scans to come. At 11 this morning, I went in for a PET scan. A PET scan was done to see my current condition with the brain cancer. I had never had one before so I was pretty nervous. Andrew brought home some paperwork that told me what I could and couldn't eat 12 hours before and then what I could and could not have 4 hours before starting. Last night's dinner was chicken and dumplins with greens, corn, and peach cobbler. Oh ... I've taken up drinking .... pot liquor. (For those of you freaking out, pot liquor is the juice from fixin' collard greens.)

In being paranoid about veins not popping up and such, I woke up this morning at 6:15 to eat something for breakfast and then sit and wait until it was time to go. Thank the Lord, I fell back to sleep for an hour after I finished eating breakfast. I didn't just stay awake and dread what was coming. I've done that before.

So the time came to leave and go to the hospital. I took a couple Ativan to calm my nerves. I drank quite a bit of water and then grabbed a warm cloth to hold on my arm on the way.

I went back pretty quick. Normally I'd have Andrew or Mom go back with me for any needle pokes. This time I went by myself. I felt the Holy Spirit tell me earlier to just trust him and see what He could do. He'd helped me with IV's back when I was pregnant and didn't have anyone with me.

After the nurse finished the IV I said out loud, "Thank you Jesus!" The nurse turned around and looked at me and said, "My name is Evette." I went to say thank you to her but she had already walked out the door. When she returned, I mentioned to her that Jesus had made her and that's why I was thankful to have someone who knew what they were doing with a needle. No reply. Another seed planted, I guess. I feel like that seeds thrown fell on the path or rocks.

In the Bible there is a parable about a sower who was planting seeds and then Jesus explained the seeds' landing. The full story can be found in Matthew 13:1-23. It's a pretty neat word picture. If you've read this before, take another look at it. God's Word speaks fresh daily. Ask Him how your "farmin'" is going. OH, and don't forget to pray for the seeds you've planted! God is listening!

I'm gunna run and eat dinner. Andrew cooked tonight! Thank you Jesus for husbands who help in the kitchen. :)

Ding, Ding, Ding!

In and through Jesus, I have now completed my fourth and final round of chemo! On the way out, I rang the bell to mark my race run being done. Now, it's the recovery journey. I've been told since it took 4 months to go through chemo, I need to at least give myself that much time to start feeling normal again. Maybe some traveling in the future? I ache to see family in FL and friends in AZ.

I went in for labs today and was feeling pretty crummy from the neupogen shots. I later found out it's because they in essence give you the flu-like soreness throughout your body for about 2 weeks to try to boost the white blood cells. Mom and I pray after each shot (nightly). I won't miss these things at all when we're done. Y'all know how I LOVE needles.  So one night I thanked God for the pain the medicine caused because that way I knew it was working. I told God it was hard for me to thank him for something that hurt, but I needed to. I am grateful dangit!

I knew I was feeling bad from those shots because it had happened the last 3 rounds of chemo. I was trying to brace myself for this next round of soreness. Yesterday was a pretty tough day and I was not looking forward to labs and being pushed on. God is good, though, and with my LMX (numbing cream) I didn't even feel the needle go in! I like when that happens.

Labs came back fine. They gave me hydration which helped because I was feeling very tired. Feeling a little better now.

Things to pray for:
-Neupogen shots to continue to work.
-My courage with those dang things. It's a daily thing I ask God for.
-Ferrio - the nurse I witnessed to. Pray that God would send someone to water the seed planted.
-Andrew - he's been having headaches a lot lately. I think it's from stress.
-I still struggle with fear of the unknown of recovery, You'd think I'd be fine, but the devil's lies sound pretty good.

So just as so many of you have said, "PRAISE THE LORD!" Jesus has held my hand through treatment and I know he'll hold my hand through recovery.

Getting closer

This past week seemed like it took forever to happen. On Saturday evening, I started to run a fever of 102. I had to go to the ER because that's what ya do when you get a fever with chemo. I thought I was only going to be there overnight, but it turned into a week long stay. While in the hospital, they gave me antibiotics, potassium, platelets, and a bunch of other stuff through IV. All of it was able to be done through my port, thank you Jesus! Oh and I was able to witness to one of my nurses! It was a corny way .... the donut man way, but it happened and I pray the seed is watered.

Now I'm home for a little break before I go in for my LAST round of chemo. I'm so thankful the Lord has been gracious in allowing me to come home and just breathe, love on my boys and much more before I go in for another week long stay in the hospital. I am getting tired of their food.

I have labs tomorrow and the white blood count levels will determine when chemo begins. I'm ready to get it done and over with.

Praise the Lord:
- out of the hospital
- no more nupegen (sp) shots for a little bit

Things to pray for:
- one of the antibiotics they sent me home with makes me extra nauseas
- that my body will continue to "get ready" for this last round
- my mom - she's been doing so much to help out
- Andrew - has been experiencing some headaches & weird stuff going on with his left arm