Okay, you guys were able to experience the Dory first hand!! I completely forgot to share with you some ways God has given me to remember to pray for something.
Let me start by saying I'm not going to start collecting this item. It's just something that I'll most likely buy one of, hang somewhere I see often and use it as a reminder. I don't need THINGS.
Before I was discharged to the Fisher House, January 24, the pharmacist came in to explain the many medications I was taking home. In those, were some that contained opiates. I know what those are, but she explained anyway. It's her job. :) So while she was talking about opiates, I said like in lemon poppy seed muffins, cuz I like those. Just so you know, I'm not a crack head and I don't do drugs, but you might think I do with all these opiates I'm on. lol So anyway, there is a part in the movie Wizard of Oz where the bad witch directs Dorothy and her friends into a field of poppy's to make them fall asleep because they were almost to the Emerald City. You'll have to watch the movie again. So now every time I see ruby slippers, not only do I think "There's no place like home" but I'll also be reminded to pray for those in the medical profession and thank the Lord for medicine that helps or takes away pain.
Silly I know, but it works.
Here is something new you can be praying for. There is a family here in the Fisher House who the dad has several tumors and they are all inoperable. He only has a few weeks to live. This family is a Jesus believing family, so I'm glad they can run to him for comfort and peace. Just pray for them. Thanks.
Alright, I'm done. Sorry for not keeping it short again. I'm not gunna make any more promises.
Goodnight.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Dr. Appts and Prayer Reminders
So I went to the doctor this morning for a follow up. When Andrew called last night, the front desk just said to show up and wait, but be prepared for a 3-6 hr wait. When Andrew told me that, I said I don't have any books ... I don't wanna go...that's ridiculous. What's the point in making an appt if you have to wait that long. I had a bad attitude.
So we got there, checked in, and didn't wait very long to see both surgeons. Pray for the Lord to bless my surgeons - Dr. Armonda and Dr. Davidson. They've been wonderful. I went in with a list of questions and things that I've been feeling. I know it sounds weird to have a list of things I've been feeling, but the short term memory loss, which is temporary (YAY!) really does make me forget just about everything.
Health Updates:
- I can blow my nose! I haven't been able to do that all week because of pressure. So I did that today!
- My incisions are healing quickly and nicely.
- My hair is growing back quickly. Mom said I had bed head from a nap today. I still like this short hair. I'm looking forward to losing it with chemo. If I have the kind that makes it all go away. We should find out what kind of chemo and radiation later this week.
- I tried my wig on today. I'll post pictures later when my skin clears a little bit. That side effect is hard to see in the mirror. I've not had acne like this before. I'm thankful for clear skin when I have it. So when you see pictures, just try to look past the ugly mess on my face. It's not pretty at all.
- Vision - my eyes are getting a little better each day. Very small improvements, but none the less, they are getting better. I can read, write and obviously blog.
- Doing more by myself - as I said on facebook earlier, I was able to take a shower with minimal help from Mom and lots from the Lord. It felt so good to do that by myself. Celebrate the small things! I was also able to get up and walk to the bathroom I think 3 times last night. It was sort of frustrating to have to go almost every 2 hours ... interrupted sleep and all, but I was able to sleep! The Lord blessed me with that!
- Exercise - Mom has been good about challenging me to do more physically each day. Plus, my friend Jennifer Smith, from another Fisher House, told me about a gym in one of the homes. I'm anxious to try an elliptical or stationary bike. I know the Bible says to be anxious for nothing, but I'm pretty sure God would be okay with me being anxious about getting into shape. :) I'm not worried, so I guess I'm not anxious. Get it right Lindsey!
- Short term memory loss - so most of you know that one of my new names is Dory, like the blue fish from Nemo. That's because I have short term memory loss right now. It's part of recovering from these surgeries and stuff. Extremely frustrating though! I really don't like it. I thought it was bad with pregnancy. Nothing like this round though! Anyway, I ask the same questions throughout the day forget what people are talking to me about and I've even forgotten who has come to see me at hospitals and stuff. It's really pathetic. I hate that I can't remember who came to see me. If I have a picture of it, then I remember. I guess pictures will become even more precious now. Lord help me!
- New side effects to have fun with - so I'm not sure which narcotic it's from, but I'm pretty sure it's from a pain med. I have been scratching at my nose and whole body all day. I've felt this way when I had lore tab or percocet with my wisdom teeth a while ago.
- Shower with no help at all! - Tonight I was able to not only shower with no help, but standing
for almost the entire time! I sat down at the end to shave my legs. I do that normally so I didn't feel bad. I want to keep progressing and moving forward and this was a big one! Yay God!
- Bible drill - this one's not health but is an accomplishment.
Until next time ... share a blessing with someone!
So we got there, checked in, and didn't wait very long to see both surgeons. Pray for the Lord to bless my surgeons - Dr. Armonda and Dr. Davidson. They've been wonderful. I went in with a list of questions and things that I've been feeling. I know it sounds weird to have a list of things I've been feeling, but the short term memory loss, which is temporary (YAY!) really does make me forget just about everything.
Health Updates:
- I can blow my nose! I haven't been able to do that all week because of pressure. So I did that today!
- My incisions are healing quickly and nicely.
- My hair is growing back quickly. Mom said I had bed head from a nap today. I still like this short hair. I'm looking forward to losing it with chemo. If I have the kind that makes it all go away. We should find out what kind of chemo and radiation later this week.
- I tried my wig on today. I'll post pictures later when my skin clears a little bit. That side effect is hard to see in the mirror. I've not had acne like this before. I'm thankful for clear skin when I have it. So when you see pictures, just try to look past the ugly mess on my face. It's not pretty at all.
- Vision - my eyes are getting a little better each day. Very small improvements, but none the less, they are getting better. I can read, write and obviously blog.
- Doing more by myself - as I said on facebook earlier, I was able to take a shower with minimal help from Mom and lots from the Lord. It felt so good to do that by myself. Celebrate the small things! I was also able to get up and walk to the bathroom I think 3 times last night. It was sort of frustrating to have to go almost every 2 hours ... interrupted sleep and all, but I was able to sleep! The Lord blessed me with that!
- Exercise - Mom has been good about challenging me to do more physically each day. Plus, my friend Jennifer Smith, from another Fisher House, told me about a gym in one of the homes. I'm anxious to try an elliptical or stationary bike. I know the Bible says to be anxious for nothing, but I'm pretty sure God would be okay with me being anxious about getting into shape. :) I'm not worried, so I guess I'm not anxious. Get it right Lindsey!
- Short term memory loss - so most of you know that one of my new names is Dory, like the blue fish from Nemo. That's because I have short term memory loss right now. It's part of recovering from these surgeries and stuff. Extremely frustrating though! I really don't like it. I thought it was bad with pregnancy. Nothing like this round though! Anyway, I ask the same questions throughout the day forget what people are talking to me about and I've even forgotten who has come to see me at hospitals and stuff. It's really pathetic. I hate that I can't remember who came to see me. If I have a picture of it, then I remember. I guess pictures will become even more precious now. Lord help me!
- New side effects to have fun with - so I'm not sure which narcotic it's from, but I'm pretty sure it's from a pain med. I have been scratching at my nose and whole body all day. I've felt this way when I had lore tab or percocet with my wisdom teeth a while ago.
- Shower with no help at all! - Tonight I was able to not only shower with no help, but standing
for almost the entire time! I sat down at the end to shave my legs. I do that normally so I didn't feel bad. I want to keep progressing and moving forward and this was a big one! Yay God!
- Bible drill - this one's not health but is an accomplishment.
Until next time ... share a blessing with someone!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Accomplishments From Today!
Hello everyone. After a very difficult night, I wanted to praise the Lord and share some accomplishments from the day today.
- I was able to sleep - I didn't think I'd ever fall asleep last night. I had some pretty crazy thoughts out of exhaustion and my Mom was so good to just sit and hold my hand until I fell asleep. I didn't want her to leave. Poor Andrew got up once when I called for him and then fell right back to sleep. He forgot I asked for help to the bathroom. He was so tired. Poor guy.
- I woke up! I was in so much pain last night with the inflammation in my legs zyflamend (dietary supplement from a health food store) that is like a preventative for inflammation. Charity, it's worth a try!
- I was able to walk and use the bathroom by myself during the evening and throughout the day. I know this sounds small, but each time I'd stand up to walk to the bathroom, I thanked God for the ability to walk and do things on my own.
- Went on a walk outside with Mom and Jonathan - it was in the 40's and I probably looked like a little old lady with my black coat and blue scarf around my head, but Jesus walked me through it. I didn't want to go because I felt super tired today. I'm so glad I did. It was nice to get some fresh air and exercise. I need to do that at least once a day.
- Tart cherry juice was found! - I have not taken a single advil pill in 7.5 hours! God has made that possible through a miracle and I've been drinking tart cherry juice. I did some research on things to help inflammation pain and that was a suggestion. I kept praying for 9:00 so Andrew could find a whole food store to purchase some for me. I think it's working. I'm also taking a bunch of different vitamins, minerals, and other health food things like cod liver oil, zyflamend and just eating differently. I've cut sugar almost completely out. That means today, I celebrated with the total of a half of a strawberry frosted donut. A quarter at a time. That's a big deal for me with this recent craving/addiction.
- Held Jonathan - I'm not allowed to pick up more than 10 lbs. so this restriction is so very hard. There have been many times I've wanted to just grab him and love on him. I know the day will come when I can do that again. Just not right now. It gives Andrew and my mom a chance to love on him a little extra.
- Shower by myself - thank the Lord for shower chairs. I don't ever feel like taking a shower by the time rolls around because it takes a while, but I'm always thankful I did. Mom usually puts lotion on for me and that's my favorite part. Like a massage.
- No more decadron - that's right! I didn't mistype. I'm no longer taking the steroid decadron. Hopefully I won't have to go back on it. Now I'm praying the side effects will cease quickly because I have almost all of them and then some.
Alrighty. That's it for today. See?! I told you God did great things!! Woo hoo!! Yay Jesus! Be sure to share a blessing with others. Oh and don't forget to share with me any ways I can pray for you. I still have that insomnia and ask the Lord who to pray for during the night.
That post wasn't too long. I'll talk atcha guys later. God is good! Thank Him for it!
- I was able to sleep - I didn't think I'd ever fall asleep last night. I had some pretty crazy thoughts out of exhaustion and my Mom was so good to just sit and hold my hand until I fell asleep. I didn't want her to leave. Poor Andrew got up once when I called for him and then fell right back to sleep. He forgot I asked for help to the bathroom. He was so tired. Poor guy.
- I woke up! I was in so much pain last night with the inflammation in my legs zyflamend (dietary supplement from a health food store) that is like a preventative for inflammation. Charity, it's worth a try!
- I was able to walk and use the bathroom by myself during the evening and throughout the day. I know this sounds small, but each time I'd stand up to walk to the bathroom, I thanked God for the ability to walk and do things on my own.
- Went on a walk outside with Mom and Jonathan - it was in the 40's and I probably looked like a little old lady with my black coat and blue scarf around my head, but Jesus walked me through it. I didn't want to go because I felt super tired today. I'm so glad I did. It was nice to get some fresh air and exercise. I need to do that at least once a day.
- Tart cherry juice was found! - I have not taken a single advil pill in 7.5 hours! God has made that possible through a miracle and I've been drinking tart cherry juice. I did some research on things to help inflammation pain and that was a suggestion. I kept praying for 9:00 so Andrew could find a whole food store to purchase some for me. I think it's working. I'm also taking a bunch of different vitamins, minerals, and other health food things like cod liver oil, zyflamend and just eating differently. I've cut sugar almost completely out. That means today, I celebrated with the total of a half of a strawberry frosted donut. A quarter at a time. That's a big deal for me with this recent craving/addiction.
- Held Jonathan - I'm not allowed to pick up more than 10 lbs. so this restriction is so very hard. There have been many times I've wanted to just grab him and love on him. I know the day will come when I can do that again. Just not right now. It gives Andrew and my mom a chance to love on him a little extra.
- Shower by myself - thank the Lord for shower chairs. I don't ever feel like taking a shower by the time rolls around because it takes a while, but I'm always thankful I did. Mom usually puts lotion on for me and that's my favorite part. Like a massage.
- No more decadron - that's right! I didn't mistype. I'm no longer taking the steroid decadron. Hopefully I won't have to go back on it. Now I'm praying the side effects will cease quickly because I have almost all of them and then some.
Alrighty. That's it for today. See?! I told you God did great things!! Woo hoo!! Yay Jesus! Be sure to share a blessing with others. Oh and don't forget to share with me any ways I can pray for you. I still have that insomnia and ask the Lord who to pray for during the night.
That post wasn't too long. I'll talk atcha guys later. God is good! Thank Him for it!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
New names, Rough Night and Things to Pray For
This post might not be as uplifting or positive as others. Just being real with y'all. Right now I'm in a level 8 pain on a scale of 1-10. It's 6:30 and I've been with this challenge since 3:00 am. This by far is the worst part and I'm hoping and praying it's yet another side effect from thne steroid decadron. I'm having an extremely hard time being thankful for this medicine right now in this moment. Then I'm going to pray I don't have to use this steroid ever again. Although I am still very thankful for medicine and how it helps!!
New names - here's a silly part for ya. My daddy was rubbing my head yesterday and said, "Aw, you remind me of one of my puppies named Hutch." I asked him to tell me about the dog because I'd never heard about it before. It was my Mom's first and ONLY dog lol. She wants y'all to know that. Anyway, he was rubbin' and I said that should be one of my cancer names. Yep, that's right ... just one. There's more and I'm sure others to follow.
The other name goes with the movie Finding Nemo. You guys know Dory right? Well another extremely frustrating side effect of something I'm probably on, hopefully... is short term memory loss. I just had to ask Mom "It's short term memory loss right?" Wow ... that's sort of discouraging. Blessing in the middle!!!!! Advil is kicking in and the pain is starting to lessen. THANK YOU JESUS! I'm living out a miracle!!!!
Okay, back to Dory. So she has short term memory loss and now so do I. I'm not sure if this is something I need to get used to or not. If so, I'm really going to need your prayers. I've already started writing everything down like when and where pain starts, how I react to different medications. I'm just afraid of the future with Jonathan. I don't wanna forget my son somewhere or get lost in another town or who knows what. I'm not going to talk about it anymore though, because the devil will feed me lies like strawberry frosted donuts and sometimes I eat them. So Hutch or Dory will go fine. I might forget to answer but I'll eventually get it.
Rough night - so last night by far was the hardest night up to this point. I think it was the first time I felt like saying I can't do this. It's too much. I GIVE UP! The pain was excruciating and there were times it felt like it took every ounce of strength just to whisper "Jesus help me!!!" I don't tell y'all this to make you feel sorry, just to try to give you a glimpse of how bad I was hurtin' but also how good my Jesus is!! He brought me through it. Daddy had to come hug me in bed since I couldn't walk, but I was able to cry with him goodbye. He prayed over me and is now on the road. Pray for him as he has that long drive home to FL. Jesus brought me through the night y'all! Praise Him!!!
Things to pray for ... this is the good part! No special order, just do it.
- Side effects - no I'm not complaining just talking again. So why don't we pray together about side effects from chemo or anything else to come quickly so it can be treated in the best way possible.
- Spiritual attack - so since I've been climbing this mountain of brain cancer, my spiritual senses have been heightened to what is going on around me. Almost all the time. Not a bad thing most of the time. So I can feel spiritual attack pretty strong when I'm in the middle of it. Never experienced it like this before. So here's how you can pray along with me. When the devil is attacking, that God will bring Scripture of truth to mind so I can fight Satan's lies.
- My husband, Andrew - so most of you know that God has blessed me beyond belief with an amazing man in Andrew. I'm discovering each day how we were made for each other. God is pretty dang good at match making. Anyway, pray for Andrew as he too, will have a very challenging year ahead. He's going to be taking care of Jonathan almost all by himself and that alone is going to be tough. You know how men sometimes just don't know what to do for a baby. He's learning still. Not sayin' I have it all together. Just lift him up please. Plus, he has sleep apnea and we're working on getting his CPAP machine. He often tells me he's tired or exhausted and I'm pretty sure it's because he is not getting good sleep. Pray that I'll be compassionate towards him when he tells me he's exhausted. Sometimes I feel like hitting his arm and saying me too! I know he's tired though. God will give him energy. He's done it for me and I know he'll provide that need for my dear husband.
- Future appointments - so there is one appointment coming that I'm not looking forward to. It's where I have to be fitted for a mask for radiation, I think. I DO NOT like being closed in and having things over my face. Pray that I can make it through that one. I know I can because Luke 1:37 says with God ALL things are possible; & Phil. 4:13 reminds me I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.
Boldness & courage - that I will continue to grow in my walk with Jesus so I can be in tune with hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit. I don't ever want to lose the ability to hear God's voice telling me to do something. It's up to me whether or not I obey. I think I choose the Jesus way. It's always best.
- How can I pray for you? Please let me know of ways to pray for you. When I wake up in the middle of the night unable to sleep, that's the first thing I ask God. Who would you like me to pray for? So please, it would be my pleasure to know how I can lift you up before our Heavenly Father. I'm serious. I'll have to write it down, but know that I will pray.
Okay, that's all for the prayer stuff right now. More to come later.
I think that might be all for this post. I really am trying to keep them short. Just set aside at least 15 minutes every time you check this thing. I will work on my part. God is SO good.
Oh and be sure to let me know how God is growing you too! I want to hear how he's challenging you guys. I love to hear how he's working in the lives of other people.
New names - here's a silly part for ya. My daddy was rubbing my head yesterday and said, "Aw, you remind me of one of my puppies named Hutch." I asked him to tell me about the dog because I'd never heard about it before. It was my Mom's first and ONLY dog lol. She wants y'all to know that. Anyway, he was rubbin' and I said that should be one of my cancer names. Yep, that's right ... just one. There's more and I'm sure others to follow.
The other name goes with the movie Finding Nemo. You guys know Dory right? Well another extremely frustrating side effect of something I'm probably on, hopefully... is short term memory loss. I just had to ask Mom "It's short term memory loss right?" Wow ... that's sort of discouraging. Blessing in the middle!!!!! Advil is kicking in and the pain is starting to lessen. THANK YOU JESUS! I'm living out a miracle!!!!
Okay, back to Dory. So she has short term memory loss and now so do I. I'm not sure if this is something I need to get used to or not. If so, I'm really going to need your prayers. I've already started writing everything down like when and where pain starts, how I react to different medications. I'm just afraid of the future with Jonathan. I don't wanna forget my son somewhere or get lost in another town or who knows what. I'm not going to talk about it anymore though, because the devil will feed me lies like strawberry frosted donuts and sometimes I eat them. So Hutch or Dory will go fine. I might forget to answer but I'll eventually get it.
Rough night - so last night by far was the hardest night up to this point. I think it was the first time I felt like saying I can't do this. It's too much. I GIVE UP! The pain was excruciating and there were times it felt like it took every ounce of strength just to whisper "Jesus help me!!!" I don't tell y'all this to make you feel sorry, just to try to give you a glimpse of how bad I was hurtin' but also how good my Jesus is!! He brought me through it. Daddy had to come hug me in bed since I couldn't walk, but I was able to cry with him goodbye. He prayed over me and is now on the road. Pray for him as he has that long drive home to FL. Jesus brought me through the night y'all! Praise Him!!!
Things to pray for ... this is the good part! No special order, just do it.
- Side effects - no I'm not complaining just talking again. So why don't we pray together about side effects from chemo or anything else to come quickly so it can be treated in the best way possible.
- Spiritual attack - so since I've been climbing this mountain of brain cancer, my spiritual senses have been heightened to what is going on around me. Almost all the time. Not a bad thing most of the time. So I can feel spiritual attack pretty strong when I'm in the middle of it. Never experienced it like this before. So here's how you can pray along with me. When the devil is attacking, that God will bring Scripture of truth to mind so I can fight Satan's lies.
- My husband, Andrew - so most of you know that God has blessed me beyond belief with an amazing man in Andrew. I'm discovering each day how we were made for each other. God is pretty dang good at match making. Anyway, pray for Andrew as he too, will have a very challenging year ahead. He's going to be taking care of Jonathan almost all by himself and that alone is going to be tough. You know how men sometimes just don't know what to do for a baby. He's learning still. Not sayin' I have it all together. Just lift him up please. Plus, he has sleep apnea and we're working on getting his CPAP machine. He often tells me he's tired or exhausted and I'm pretty sure it's because he is not getting good sleep. Pray that I'll be compassionate towards him when he tells me he's exhausted. Sometimes I feel like hitting his arm and saying me too! I know he's tired though. God will give him energy. He's done it for me and I know he'll provide that need for my dear husband.
- Future appointments - so there is one appointment coming that I'm not looking forward to. It's where I have to be fitted for a mask for radiation, I think. I DO NOT like being closed in and having things over my face. Pray that I can make it through that one. I know I can because Luke 1:37 says with God ALL things are possible; & Phil. 4:13 reminds me I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.
Boldness & courage - that I will continue to grow in my walk with Jesus so I can be in tune with hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit. I don't ever want to lose the ability to hear God's voice telling me to do something. It's up to me whether or not I obey. I think I choose the Jesus way. It's always best.
- How can I pray for you? Please let me know of ways to pray for you. When I wake up in the middle of the night unable to sleep, that's the first thing I ask God. Who would you like me to pray for? So please, it would be my pleasure to know how I can lift you up before our Heavenly Father. I'm serious. I'll have to write it down, but know that I will pray.
Okay, that's all for the prayer stuff right now. More to come later.
I think that might be all for this post. I really am trying to keep them short. Just set aside at least 15 minutes every time you check this thing. I will work on my part. God is SO good.
Oh and be sure to let me know how God is growing you too! I want to hear how he's challenging you guys. I love to hear how he's working in the lives of other people.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Ok guys, this will be a lengthy post because it's taken me a while to get to a computer. Hopefully I don't ramble too much. There's just much I have to share about what God's done and is doing. He's so good guys! I love my Jesus!!!
So here we go. I'm going to start with a complaint list & blessing list. Nothing is in any specific order. Just rambling I guess.
Okay ... the complaint list ... please don't think I complain like this all the time. I'm learning to thank the Lord as soon a complaint starts to arise. I'm sure He just shakes his head and thinks alright Lindsey change that stinkin' thinkin' right now!
Complainer ...
- IV's - I've had 23 since Dec 24 and I've discovered that it's not rude to ask for someone who knows what they're doing. I know that I'm a fainter and need to lay down and I feel every stinkin' think like blood coming out, needles going in, stuff like that. I need them to walk me through it. Right down to ok we're all done.
- Decadron - ok this is a steroid that I've been on since WA, so that's 3 weeks? I've had just about every side effect, some including insomnia, increased appetite, bloating, an ugly rash, levitating feeling while I'm laying down, mind racing when I do lay down (God must think I'm a ADHD or schizophrenic prayer). Andrew said I've been talking a lot more. He's probably told me to shut up in his head so many times. lol I think the insomnia is the worst. I've never dealt with that before. I think the devil was playing a part in that because he knows I needed it.
- Daddy says I complain about complaining. I guess I should stop. Now to the blessings!!!! Yay God!!
Blessing time!!!!
- Fisher House - wow! I don't even know where to start. This place is like a Ronald McDonald house military style. They have been so good to us and it's been nice to know things are taken care of. Mom and Dad were able to stay with the baby for no charge. God gave them lots of blessings with meeting other people going through the similar trial.
- Toilets - ok I'm hoping this isn't too much information. I'll try to keep it rated for kids. So, I thank the Lord for the toilet every time I use it. I'm so glad I'm not having to squat over a hole somewhere. Man, that'd be hard to balance! Anyway, I'm not a camping kinda girl. I like my electricity and running water, hence a toilet. I'm thankful for quiet flushing toilets too. I'm so sensitive to light and sounds right now it's weird. But normal for now I guess. So yay for toilets and the ability to use them.
- Medical staff at each of the hospitals I've been in. We have been super blessed with the nurses and doctors. I've only been discouraged with nightly interruptions, housekeeping, and nurses who have trouble with IV's. There I go complaining again. BUT, the Lord has grown me with giving me boldness to pray with some of those nurses and doctors. It's been a blessing to just pray with people.
- Silly one ... strawberry frosted donuts. I've been eating like I'm pregnant again .. cravings wise. Chocolate milk, strawberry frosted donuts. No applesauce cravings though. No Jonathan inside either too.
- Internet on my cell phone. I'm so thankful for the times I've been able to check my facebook account & text with some friends. I some people think facebook is of the devil or a terrible distraction, or that the internet is evil because it takes away from the family ... I'm just thankful for it. I look at it as a blessing. It can become something that takes away from important things, but everyone must learn self control. God can help with that.
- Food!! So the hospital would take an hour to get your food to you, so it was a patience test every time food was wanted. It was so nice to have Mom's pork chop dinner the other night. I know poor Andrew doesn't like pork chops, but he's a trooper and ate them anyway. :) He's a good man! I love food and this steroid makes me want to eat more of it, which is hard because I'm used to when I'm feeling full, just stop eating. Well, the other night, I asked God to help me stop eating so I wouldn't be super full and uncomfortable in bed. Guess what?! He did! About 5 min. after I asked for help, I believe either he or an angel came and knocked the mac n cheese right off my fork ... twice! Daddy was laughing at me probably thinkin' man these drugs make her think all crazy sorts of things. So ask the Lord to help you stop eating when you need to. It works! He'll knock the food right off your fork!
- Medication - I'm talking everything from decadron to sodium pills. I'm so thankful God has gifted people who know how to make medication that helps alleviate pain and other things like that. Not so grateful for the side effects, but that just lets you know they are working.
- IV's - ok I hate needles, but I'm so grateful for the quick relief an IV can bring when you're in pain, or when you have an MRI and need something to sedate you. IV's are a blessing! Even if they hurt going in. They are a great thing!
- Music - I love music and God has been using it to encourage me a lot. This might sound silly, but I'm going to write each artist that has had a song that encourages me and thank them. I don't care if it's silly. I'm doing it because God told me to!
- Texting - sometimes it gets annoying to hear my phone buzz all day, but I really am thankful for the many encouraging messages from family and friends. I'm operating on prayers of others and the texts are uplifting.
- Nike - ok, so I know it's secular but they're slogan "Just Do It" is really helping me through some things. My cousins from NC bought me my 1st Nike Just Do It shirt. I plan on wearing it to some chemo treatments. I'm gunna write Nike too. Letting them know how they are helping someone with cancer make it through challenges. Maybe that will bless them.
- Spinal tap while I was under the knife - okay so you know I hate needles and I've watched one too many Grey's Anatomy episodes and saw one that had a dude getting a spinal tap. Anyway, I was dreading ever having one. I've had an epidural with Jonathan, but with back labor, I didn't feel a thing. So anyway, they told me they did a lumbar puncture while I was under during one of my surgeries and I could've cried. I was so thankful that I didn't have to feel it! The doctor said oh it's just mild discomfort. But we all know when a doctor says mild discomfort, that means this is going to hurt ... at least a little bit. If a doctor tells you something's going to hurt, get ready. I think that means pain is coming. If you're a doctor I hope I didn't offend you but making you sound like a liar. I don't mean to! I'm so thankful for doctors.
- MRI's & CT scans - MRI's are something I'm a little less thankful for those because they take quite a long time but I know they are necessary for best imaging for things. CT scans aren't too bad. The part that gets me is the transportation of the beds and moving from one bed to the other. With a head injury, moving your head is hard and sometimes painful. I'm always glad to be done with them. Transportation of beds depend on the driver. Some nurses like to take you on a Nascar experience and go entirely too fast. I have no problem telling them to slow down, or close my eyes. I called one guy Richard Petty. MRI's take a really long time too. If I have something to sedate me, cover my eyes, and ear plugs ... it's bearable. My father-in-law has told me that I can have some music to listen to, but everytime I ask for it, the nurses look at me like I have 3 heads.
- My parents - OH MY GOODNESS. I'm so thankful for the parents Jesus gave to me. They are such an example of how to love and be like Jesus. I pray that I will be half the parents they are and have been to me. So after making a late dinner last night, Mom gave me my 1st shower since being home and then took another hour and half to take my toe nail polish off, put lotion on my back and shoulders, and just be a good Momma. I know she was tired. She had to be with watching Jonathan and doing everything she has been. I love her so very much. Please pray a special blessing over my parents. God did a miracle in providing plane tickets for them on a super late notice for them to be with me in WA and here in DC. I didn't realize how much I missed my Momma and Daddy until I saw them. I'll never be ready for them to leave, but I know they have lives to get back to as well. I'm so thankful for my parents and pray the Lord will bless them beyond belief for everything they've done for me and my family during my mountain climb.
- A buzzed hair cut - never thought I'd be thankful for this, but I am. Andrew was afraid of me cutting it too soon and regretting it, but as soon as I heard chemo, I thought, do it now. It's going to be so hard seeing big clumps come out in the shower or sink rather than little bits. So the surgeon who shaved it 1st must have been a man. (Sorry guys, not trying to cut down men again). Andrew took a picture of what I looked like before we did the cut. I'll post that later. Anyway, they were going to leave me half shaved and half long hair. A woman would not do that! So I told the nurse even me out please. If I have chemo, it will most likely fall out anyway. He just laughed and said ok, here we go. I now understand why a little boy might be terrified of getting his hair buzzed. That sucker can be loud and can sound like it will cut your ears off. There were a couple of times where I found myself pulling away so he wouldn't get my ears. I know, it's dumb.
- Joshua, Michelle & Benjamin - these are my brothers and sisters. Man do I love them bunches. They bought me 1st wig!!! I wish they would've videotaped the process of picking it out. I'm sure it was hilarious to watch those guys. My brothers bring so much joy and laughter into my life. I got some pictures of them with it on. I'll be sure to post them later. Joshua looks like Jesus. Benjamin just looks silly. He has a hard time taking serious pictures sometimes. Handsome dudes though. Even with girly hair. Michelle looked great in it. I'm glad she put it on for me to see so I could get a glimpse of what I might look like. I should probably go off of Benjamin though.
- Deep breathing exerciser - there's this thing where you suck in a plastic ball in a container, hold it there for a few seconds and then release your breath. It sounds simple, but it really helps. It was really hard at first, but like I said, the thing works. There are 3 plastic balls inside, but I only have to lift one at a time, thank you Jesus. Andrew can lift all 3! He has some more air. Anyway, I have to do 15 inhalations each hour, except for in the middle of the night. It makes me light headed and I need help keeping track of what number I'm on, but it really does help. It makes me tired too, so I do it before bed time. It takes a little while too though because I have to close my eyes and breathe in between. Weird feeling, but it works!
- The ability to cough - sounds silly, but it has made breathing easier too. It hurt at first, but the relief that follows is so worth it. I'll be glad when I don't have it anymore.
- Uninterrupted sleep at the Fisher house - wow am I thankful for this one. Housekeeping at 4 in the morning was very annoying and I think I failed that patience test every single time. I hated hearing the knocking on my door. I wanted to tell everyone, just go away, I'm trying to rest here! Sleep is a blessing and I thank the Lord every time I wake from it.
- Friends in the DC area - Matt and Erin Martin have been huge blessings. I know they're not the only ones and I'm sorry I'm not thanking all those in the WA area too. Matt and Erin have been a big blessing in being available to help with whatever, providing lodging for whoever needs it, purchasing maps, suggesting things to do and not to do, and just being here. They are such sweet friends to our family. Pray a blessing over them too! I know the Lord has seen their sacrifices and will bless each one.
- Andrew's parents - another HUGE one. God's timing is perfect and I'm so glad they are in the location they are. God has made me more comfortable with Andrew's family each time I've been with them. Mom and Dad were a big help with watching Jonathan and just being around to help too. Dad started a new job and Mom broke her foot while we were there and I know it was an extra challenge. Pray the Lord blesses them in an extra special way too. I'm sure they're glad to have they're home back to themselves and getting back to a normal routine. I love you guys!
- Army - HooaH!!! We used to wonder, God why are you keeping us in so long, we're ready to be out of this and start a new chapter already. Now we know why. He wanted to provide in another way! They Army has been great in working with housing, financially providing help, paperwork, and I'm sure lots more I don't even know about. The people Andrew works with have been wonderful as well. So compassionate and caring about it all. We still have a ways to go with getting re-stationed and learning what Andrew will be doing for work, but God's going to take care of it all. He has until this point!
- Fluid restriction lifted - coming from AZ where you really need to drink a lot to function, I'm used to drinking lots of water. Well, one day, in the hospital, a nurse or doctor said you're only allowed to drink a liter to a liter and a half in 24f hours. Oh my goodness was that hard to hear. Not as bad as spinal tap, but pretty dang hard. I love to drink and to hear that you can only have so much is pretty challenging. But I appreciate every sip of anything I drink now. Blessing!!
- Jonathan - wow do I love my baby in a whole new way now. Not because I'm climbing the mountain of cancer, but I just do. With chemo and radiation treatments, a side effect can cause fertility issues later. I serve a BIG God and know he can do miracles, but it's hard to hear you might have a really hard time every getting pregnant and carrying full term again. I'm not done having my babies yet. God's told me to fill my quiver with arrows. :) There's a verse in the Bible that talks about the blessing of children like a quiver full of arrows. God has given me and Andrew and strong desire and joy about adopting internationally, and now I think I know why. I still want to adopt, but I still want to carry at least one more time too. Anyway, the first night Jonathan saw me with my buzz cut, be didn't know what to do. He kind of avoided me. He eventually came to me, but it was really hard having your baby practically not jump to see Mommy. He did much better when I came home to the Fisher house and will love on me now! I love how he's been taking a few steps for me to see here too. Andrew was showing me videos of him walking and I got jealous that he was able to see a big first in person. It's all good though. I have him to love on now!!
- Extended family - Aunt Sharon & Uncle Jerry, thank you for being who you are! I love y'all so much and I'm glad we're closer so we can see each other a little more. I'm thankful for the many years you guys lived down the street so we have the relationship we do now. You both are big examples of Jesus too! Aunt Sharon has had a big part in my passion for international mission work. I remember many Sunday mornings at church singing "I'm a missionary's helper praying every day!!!!" Aunt Sharon, thank you for that Jesus Calling book. It is just like having Jesus sitting right there talking with you. Thank you so much for coming and seeing me too. Means a lot and I'll never forget it. I pray for y'all often and love you both so very much!!
- TMCC - I miss my home church family. I'm so glad God led us to Thunder Mountain Community Church. I was able to enjoy the blessing of working on staff as the Children's Ministry Director for a bit and what a ride. Ups and downs, but all great learning experiences. The staff there is wonderful and Randy had/has his work cut out with working with a bunch of us 20-30 somethings. He has so much patience and I've learned so much from him. I love you Randy Youngblood. I'm glad our goodbye is only temporary. I'm going to hug you big when I see you next. Maybe we'll be on stage together praising Jesus for the healing he brought and what he's doing still.
- Children's ministry of TMCC - I think I'm going to miss the kids the most. I was able to learn so much as a small group leader of kids. All ages teach so much if you just take the time to listen and learn. Working with kids can be challenging, but the rewards are so very great! If you're not serving in a church body, you need to be. The Bible says do it and that means obey! I will do my best to always serve children and families in some way. Even if it is my family alone. They will be my first ministry forever.
- Cars - walking has become tiring. Kind of annoying, but it's okay. That's why I'm thankful for cars. Our rental is a van and has soft seats and is easy to get into. Like I said, walking is exhausting right now. I know I'll enjoy it later, but for now, cars are a great thing!
- Fellow believers - it was such an encouragement to hear someone respond in agreement whenever I would talk about Jesus. There's just something about talking with someone about God and gushing over how good He is. God dropped many nurses, doctors and just random patients in to encourage me with bits of Jesus. All great things because God is so good!
- The Bible - what would I do without the Word of God. I don't know. The devil would get at me a lot easier. I've been asking the Lord for a supernatural ability to retain what I need to remember and the ability to memorize scripture and where it's found. I want to be prepared to give an answer for the hope I have at any time.
- Beds - I've been in one a lot lately, but it feels so nice to lay down sometimes and just go to sleep. I feel like a diva sometimes with having a pillow for my head, one for my back, one between my knees and so forth, but I'm so thankful for soft beds. Oh and cotton sheets too. I've been going hot and cold temperature wise and it's quite annoying to have to take stuff off and on. There could be much more worse things. Hush your mouth Lindsey Renee!
- My Andrew - what a man God has given me in my husband. I'm realizing more and more each day how he was made for me. I'm so thankful for a man who is compassionate, caring, patient, and has a sense of humor. He has his quirks, but who doesn't? He wouldn't be Andrew without them. I love him so much. I can't tell him enough. Lift up our marriage during this mountain climb. The devil is going to try to attack every angle. I know it.
- Chemotherapy & radiation - I know these two things are most likely going to make this climb difficult, but it's just one more thing for Jesus to help me with. Without these two things, I don't think the end result would be good. Death would probably be nice because I'd get to see Jesus, but that doesn't mean I want it. I wouldn't be able to tell my story to others.
- Bethany Birkhead - I wish everyone could meet this woman in person. She's an amazing woman of God who has challenged my walk in so many ways. I have learned so much from her. She will be taking on the spot of the Children's Ministry Director at Thunder Mountain Community Church and she's perfect. God has made her for this and I can't wait to see and hear how things go in the future. She loves children and loves to see families grow together in Jesus. That's a huge part of what she'll be doing. Pray for her and she steps into this leadership position. It's a lot, but totally possible with God. ALL things are possible with God!
- TMCC staff - I think I raved a little about them, but it'll never be enough. I'm not going to name names because I'll miss someone and feel really bad. I'm so thankful for you guys. You're a part of the family that I will forever miss. Each one of you have been used in a special way in my life to encourage and grow me and I'm so thankful for you. I pray the Lord continues to grow you guys individually and as a staff. He will, so get ready!
- The eye doctors - so if you would've asked me this earlier today, I probably wouldn't have it on this list, or it wouldn't have come quickly, but I am thankful again for people who specialize in certain fields of medicine. Having lights shining in your eyes with sensitivity is not fun, but necessary. I have lots of memories of the eye doctor from a little girl since I wore glasses since I was 2. Most of them were ouchie eye drops, patches for a lazy eye and dark rooms, but I'm thankful for these guys and gals. I did tell them they need to change a couple of their tests with the blinking light. To make a light that you have to watch for to blink that is very similar to the one you focus on is just annoying. Ok, Linz stop complaining. Blessings remember!!
- DC area - thank you Jesus for the surgeons that you have placed here and the facilities all around. I'm looking forward to exploring a new place with so much history. I think right now I'm really looking forward to the cherry blossom festival. I love flowers and they are so pretty. Little things in life right.
- Daddy's financial wisdom - at dinner tonight, Dad suggested we sell my car since I can't drive for a while. With my eyes all funky I'm not willing to put Jonathan in any kind of danger as far as that goes. We're going to look into it. Will save us some money with only one car payment too. Daddy is so wise!
- This mountain called brain cancer - this is a big mountain to climb, but I serve a God of the mountain and valley. I'm glad I have him to climb it with. He's taught me lots already and I know I'll learn lots more in years to come.
Alright guys, thanks for hanging in there. That was entirely too long and the ones following shouldn't be so lengthy. Just lots to report. I'll keep you updated on chemo/radiation treatments and all that the best I can. This is the best way to get any updates on anything with this mountain. I'm a terrible phone person, so please don't be offended if it takes me a long time to call you back. I don't know why, but I like to type and email better than talk on the phone. My dad said you need to get over that. It's not personal. People like to hear from you. Know that I am working on it. Now it's your turn for a patience test. Maybe you'll do better than me.
I'm going to bed. I'm pretty dang tired and I have a few appointments tomorrow. Gotta get ready to run around. It's good for me right?
I just want to try on my wig! Pray the devil will leave me the heck alone. He stinks. But I have JESUS on my side and in His name Satan can't touch me. Ha. If I had a baseball bat, I would have done my best to beat the crap out of that guy.
Until next time ... keep growing in Jesus. Open yourself up and He will fill you. He is faithful and is the provider of all things!!!
Love y'all so much! Thank you for everything! Keep praying and growing in the Lord. I'm praying for you. Many of you by name. :)
So here we go. I'm going to start with a complaint list & blessing list. Nothing is in any specific order. Just rambling I guess.
Okay ... the complaint list ... please don't think I complain like this all the time. I'm learning to thank the Lord as soon a complaint starts to arise. I'm sure He just shakes his head and thinks alright Lindsey change that stinkin' thinkin' right now!
Complainer ...
- IV's - I've had 23 since Dec 24 and I've discovered that it's not rude to ask for someone who knows what they're doing. I know that I'm a fainter and need to lay down and I feel every stinkin' think like blood coming out, needles going in, stuff like that. I need them to walk me through it. Right down to ok we're all done.
- Decadron - ok this is a steroid that I've been on since WA, so that's 3 weeks? I've had just about every side effect, some including insomnia, increased appetite, bloating, an ugly rash, levitating feeling while I'm laying down, mind racing when I do lay down (God must think I'm a ADHD or schizophrenic prayer). Andrew said I've been talking a lot more. He's probably told me to shut up in his head so many times. lol I think the insomnia is the worst. I've never dealt with that before. I think the devil was playing a part in that because he knows I needed it.
- Daddy says I complain about complaining. I guess I should stop. Now to the blessings!!!! Yay God!!
Blessing time!!!!
- Fisher House - wow! I don't even know where to start. This place is like a Ronald McDonald house military style. They have been so good to us and it's been nice to know things are taken care of. Mom and Dad were able to stay with the baby for no charge. God gave them lots of blessings with meeting other people going through the similar trial.
- Toilets - ok I'm hoping this isn't too much information. I'll try to keep it rated for kids. So, I thank the Lord for the toilet every time I use it. I'm so glad I'm not having to squat over a hole somewhere. Man, that'd be hard to balance! Anyway, I'm not a camping kinda girl. I like my electricity and running water, hence a toilet. I'm thankful for quiet flushing toilets too. I'm so sensitive to light and sounds right now it's weird. But normal for now I guess. So yay for toilets and the ability to use them.
- Medical staff at each of the hospitals I've been in. We have been super blessed with the nurses and doctors. I've only been discouraged with nightly interruptions, housekeeping, and nurses who have trouble with IV's. There I go complaining again. BUT, the Lord has grown me with giving me boldness to pray with some of those nurses and doctors. It's been a blessing to just pray with people.
- Silly one ... strawberry frosted donuts. I've been eating like I'm pregnant again .. cravings wise. Chocolate milk, strawberry frosted donuts. No applesauce cravings though. No Jonathan inside either too.
- Internet on my cell phone. I'm so thankful for the times I've been able to check my facebook account & text with some friends. I some people think facebook is of the devil or a terrible distraction, or that the internet is evil because it takes away from the family ... I'm just thankful for it. I look at it as a blessing. It can become something that takes away from important things, but everyone must learn self control. God can help with that.
- Food!! So the hospital would take an hour to get your food to you, so it was a patience test every time food was wanted. It was so nice to have Mom's pork chop dinner the other night. I know poor Andrew doesn't like pork chops, but he's a trooper and ate them anyway. :) He's a good man! I love food and this steroid makes me want to eat more of it, which is hard because I'm used to when I'm feeling full, just stop eating. Well, the other night, I asked God to help me stop eating so I wouldn't be super full and uncomfortable in bed. Guess what?! He did! About 5 min. after I asked for help, I believe either he or an angel came and knocked the mac n cheese right off my fork ... twice! Daddy was laughing at me probably thinkin' man these drugs make her think all crazy sorts of things. So ask the Lord to help you stop eating when you need to. It works! He'll knock the food right off your fork!
- Medication - I'm talking everything from decadron to sodium pills. I'm so thankful God has gifted people who know how to make medication that helps alleviate pain and other things like that. Not so grateful for the side effects, but that just lets you know they are working.
- IV's - ok I hate needles, but I'm so grateful for the quick relief an IV can bring when you're in pain, or when you have an MRI and need something to sedate you. IV's are a blessing! Even if they hurt going in. They are a great thing!
- Music - I love music and God has been using it to encourage me a lot. This might sound silly, but I'm going to write each artist that has had a song that encourages me and thank them. I don't care if it's silly. I'm doing it because God told me to!
- Texting - sometimes it gets annoying to hear my phone buzz all day, but I really am thankful for the many encouraging messages from family and friends. I'm operating on prayers of others and the texts are uplifting.
- Nike - ok, so I know it's secular but they're slogan "Just Do It" is really helping me through some things. My cousins from NC bought me my 1st Nike Just Do It shirt. I plan on wearing it to some chemo treatments. I'm gunna write Nike too. Letting them know how they are helping someone with cancer make it through challenges. Maybe that will bless them.
- Spinal tap while I was under the knife - okay so you know I hate needles and I've watched one too many Grey's Anatomy episodes and saw one that had a dude getting a spinal tap. Anyway, I was dreading ever having one. I've had an epidural with Jonathan, but with back labor, I didn't feel a thing. So anyway, they told me they did a lumbar puncture while I was under during one of my surgeries and I could've cried. I was so thankful that I didn't have to feel it! The doctor said oh it's just mild discomfort. But we all know when a doctor says mild discomfort, that means this is going to hurt ... at least a little bit. If a doctor tells you something's going to hurt, get ready. I think that means pain is coming. If you're a doctor I hope I didn't offend you but making you sound like a liar. I don't mean to! I'm so thankful for doctors.
- MRI's & CT scans - MRI's are something I'm a little less thankful for those because they take quite a long time but I know they are necessary for best imaging for things. CT scans aren't too bad. The part that gets me is the transportation of the beds and moving from one bed to the other. With a head injury, moving your head is hard and sometimes painful. I'm always glad to be done with them. Transportation of beds depend on the driver. Some nurses like to take you on a Nascar experience and go entirely too fast. I have no problem telling them to slow down, or close my eyes. I called one guy Richard Petty. MRI's take a really long time too. If I have something to sedate me, cover my eyes, and ear plugs ... it's bearable. My father-in-law has told me that I can have some music to listen to, but everytime I ask for it, the nurses look at me like I have 3 heads.
- My parents - OH MY GOODNESS. I'm so thankful for the parents Jesus gave to me. They are such an example of how to love and be like Jesus. I pray that I will be half the parents they are and have been to me. So after making a late dinner last night, Mom gave me my 1st shower since being home and then took another hour and half to take my toe nail polish off, put lotion on my back and shoulders, and just be a good Momma. I know she was tired. She had to be with watching Jonathan and doing everything she has been. I love her so very much. Please pray a special blessing over my parents. God did a miracle in providing plane tickets for them on a super late notice for them to be with me in WA and here in DC. I didn't realize how much I missed my Momma and Daddy until I saw them. I'll never be ready for them to leave, but I know they have lives to get back to as well. I'm so thankful for my parents and pray the Lord will bless them beyond belief for everything they've done for me and my family during my mountain climb.
- A buzzed hair cut - never thought I'd be thankful for this, but I am. Andrew was afraid of me cutting it too soon and regretting it, but as soon as I heard chemo, I thought, do it now. It's going to be so hard seeing big clumps come out in the shower or sink rather than little bits. So the surgeon who shaved it 1st must have been a man. (Sorry guys, not trying to cut down men again). Andrew took a picture of what I looked like before we did the cut. I'll post that later. Anyway, they were going to leave me half shaved and half long hair. A woman would not do that! So I told the nurse even me out please. If I have chemo, it will most likely fall out anyway. He just laughed and said ok, here we go. I now understand why a little boy might be terrified of getting his hair buzzed. That sucker can be loud and can sound like it will cut your ears off. There were a couple of times where I found myself pulling away so he wouldn't get my ears. I know, it's dumb.
- Joshua, Michelle & Benjamin - these are my brothers and sisters. Man do I love them bunches. They bought me 1st wig!!! I wish they would've videotaped the process of picking it out. I'm sure it was hilarious to watch those guys. My brothers bring so much joy and laughter into my life. I got some pictures of them with it on. I'll be sure to post them later. Joshua looks like Jesus. Benjamin just looks silly. He has a hard time taking serious pictures sometimes. Handsome dudes though. Even with girly hair. Michelle looked great in it. I'm glad she put it on for me to see so I could get a glimpse of what I might look like. I should probably go off of Benjamin though.
- Deep breathing exerciser - there's this thing where you suck in a plastic ball in a container, hold it there for a few seconds and then release your breath. It sounds simple, but it really helps. It was really hard at first, but like I said, the thing works. There are 3 plastic balls inside, but I only have to lift one at a time, thank you Jesus. Andrew can lift all 3! He has some more air. Anyway, I have to do 15 inhalations each hour, except for in the middle of the night. It makes me light headed and I need help keeping track of what number I'm on, but it really does help. It makes me tired too, so I do it before bed time. It takes a little while too though because I have to close my eyes and breathe in between. Weird feeling, but it works!
- The ability to cough - sounds silly, but it has made breathing easier too. It hurt at first, but the relief that follows is so worth it. I'll be glad when I don't have it anymore.
- Uninterrupted sleep at the Fisher house - wow am I thankful for this one. Housekeeping at 4 in the morning was very annoying and I think I failed that patience test every single time. I hated hearing the knocking on my door. I wanted to tell everyone, just go away, I'm trying to rest here! Sleep is a blessing and I thank the Lord every time I wake from it.
- Friends in the DC area - Matt and Erin Martin have been huge blessings. I know they're not the only ones and I'm sorry I'm not thanking all those in the WA area too. Matt and Erin have been a big blessing in being available to help with whatever, providing lodging for whoever needs it, purchasing maps, suggesting things to do and not to do, and just being here. They are such sweet friends to our family. Pray a blessing over them too! I know the Lord has seen their sacrifices and will bless each one.
- Andrew's parents - another HUGE one. God's timing is perfect and I'm so glad they are in the location they are. God has made me more comfortable with Andrew's family each time I've been with them. Mom and Dad were a big help with watching Jonathan and just being around to help too. Dad started a new job and Mom broke her foot while we were there and I know it was an extra challenge. Pray the Lord blesses them in an extra special way too. I'm sure they're glad to have they're home back to themselves and getting back to a normal routine. I love you guys!
- Army - HooaH!!! We used to wonder, God why are you keeping us in so long, we're ready to be out of this and start a new chapter already. Now we know why. He wanted to provide in another way! They Army has been great in working with housing, financially providing help, paperwork, and I'm sure lots more I don't even know about. The people Andrew works with have been wonderful as well. So compassionate and caring about it all. We still have a ways to go with getting re-stationed and learning what Andrew will be doing for work, but God's going to take care of it all. He has until this point!
- Fluid restriction lifted - coming from AZ where you really need to drink a lot to function, I'm used to drinking lots of water. Well, one day, in the hospital, a nurse or doctor said you're only allowed to drink a liter to a liter and a half in 24f hours. Oh my goodness was that hard to hear. Not as bad as spinal tap, but pretty dang hard. I love to drink and to hear that you can only have so much is pretty challenging. But I appreciate every sip of anything I drink now. Blessing!!
- Jonathan - wow do I love my baby in a whole new way now. Not because I'm climbing the mountain of cancer, but I just do. With chemo and radiation treatments, a side effect can cause fertility issues later. I serve a BIG God and know he can do miracles, but it's hard to hear you might have a really hard time every getting pregnant and carrying full term again. I'm not done having my babies yet. God's told me to fill my quiver with arrows. :) There's a verse in the Bible that talks about the blessing of children like a quiver full of arrows. God has given me and Andrew and strong desire and joy about adopting internationally, and now I think I know why. I still want to adopt, but I still want to carry at least one more time too. Anyway, the first night Jonathan saw me with my buzz cut, be didn't know what to do. He kind of avoided me. He eventually came to me, but it was really hard having your baby practically not jump to see Mommy. He did much better when I came home to the Fisher house and will love on me now! I love how he's been taking a few steps for me to see here too. Andrew was showing me videos of him walking and I got jealous that he was able to see a big first in person. It's all good though. I have him to love on now!!
- Extended family - Aunt Sharon & Uncle Jerry, thank you for being who you are! I love y'all so much and I'm glad we're closer so we can see each other a little more. I'm thankful for the many years you guys lived down the street so we have the relationship we do now. You both are big examples of Jesus too! Aunt Sharon has had a big part in my passion for international mission work. I remember many Sunday mornings at church singing "I'm a missionary's helper praying every day!!!!" Aunt Sharon, thank you for that Jesus Calling book. It is just like having Jesus sitting right there talking with you. Thank you so much for coming and seeing me too. Means a lot and I'll never forget it. I pray for y'all often and love you both so very much!!
- TMCC - I miss my home church family. I'm so glad God led us to Thunder Mountain Community Church. I was able to enjoy the blessing of working on staff as the Children's Ministry Director for a bit and what a ride. Ups and downs, but all great learning experiences. The staff there is wonderful and Randy had/has his work cut out with working with a bunch of us 20-30 somethings. He has so much patience and I've learned so much from him. I love you Randy Youngblood. I'm glad our goodbye is only temporary. I'm going to hug you big when I see you next. Maybe we'll be on stage together praising Jesus for the healing he brought and what he's doing still.
- Children's ministry of TMCC - I think I'm going to miss the kids the most. I was able to learn so much as a small group leader of kids. All ages teach so much if you just take the time to listen and learn. Working with kids can be challenging, but the rewards are so very great! If you're not serving in a church body, you need to be. The Bible says do it and that means obey! I will do my best to always serve children and families in some way. Even if it is my family alone. They will be my first ministry forever.
- Cars - walking has become tiring. Kind of annoying, but it's okay. That's why I'm thankful for cars. Our rental is a van and has soft seats and is easy to get into. Like I said, walking is exhausting right now. I know I'll enjoy it later, but for now, cars are a great thing!
- Fellow believers - it was such an encouragement to hear someone respond in agreement whenever I would talk about Jesus. There's just something about talking with someone about God and gushing over how good He is. God dropped many nurses, doctors and just random patients in to encourage me with bits of Jesus. All great things because God is so good!
- The Bible - what would I do without the Word of God. I don't know. The devil would get at me a lot easier. I've been asking the Lord for a supernatural ability to retain what I need to remember and the ability to memorize scripture and where it's found. I want to be prepared to give an answer for the hope I have at any time.
- Beds - I've been in one a lot lately, but it feels so nice to lay down sometimes and just go to sleep. I feel like a diva sometimes with having a pillow for my head, one for my back, one between my knees and so forth, but I'm so thankful for soft beds. Oh and cotton sheets too. I've been going hot and cold temperature wise and it's quite annoying to have to take stuff off and on. There could be much more worse things. Hush your mouth Lindsey Renee!
- My Andrew - what a man God has given me in my husband. I'm realizing more and more each day how he was made for me. I'm so thankful for a man who is compassionate, caring, patient, and has a sense of humor. He has his quirks, but who doesn't? He wouldn't be Andrew without them. I love him so much. I can't tell him enough. Lift up our marriage during this mountain climb. The devil is going to try to attack every angle. I know it.
- Chemotherapy & radiation - I know these two things are most likely going to make this climb difficult, but it's just one more thing for Jesus to help me with. Without these two things, I don't think the end result would be good. Death would probably be nice because I'd get to see Jesus, but that doesn't mean I want it. I wouldn't be able to tell my story to others.
- Bethany Birkhead - I wish everyone could meet this woman in person. She's an amazing woman of God who has challenged my walk in so many ways. I have learned so much from her. She will be taking on the spot of the Children's Ministry Director at Thunder Mountain Community Church and she's perfect. God has made her for this and I can't wait to see and hear how things go in the future. She loves children and loves to see families grow together in Jesus. That's a huge part of what she'll be doing. Pray for her and she steps into this leadership position. It's a lot, but totally possible with God. ALL things are possible with God!
- TMCC staff - I think I raved a little about them, but it'll never be enough. I'm not going to name names because I'll miss someone and feel really bad. I'm so thankful for you guys. You're a part of the family that I will forever miss. Each one of you have been used in a special way in my life to encourage and grow me and I'm so thankful for you. I pray the Lord continues to grow you guys individually and as a staff. He will, so get ready!
- The eye doctors - so if you would've asked me this earlier today, I probably wouldn't have it on this list, or it wouldn't have come quickly, but I am thankful again for people who specialize in certain fields of medicine. Having lights shining in your eyes with sensitivity is not fun, but necessary. I have lots of memories of the eye doctor from a little girl since I wore glasses since I was 2. Most of them were ouchie eye drops, patches for a lazy eye and dark rooms, but I'm thankful for these guys and gals. I did tell them they need to change a couple of their tests with the blinking light. To make a light that you have to watch for to blink that is very similar to the one you focus on is just annoying. Ok, Linz stop complaining. Blessings remember!!
- DC area - thank you Jesus for the surgeons that you have placed here and the facilities all around. I'm looking forward to exploring a new place with so much history. I think right now I'm really looking forward to the cherry blossom festival. I love flowers and they are so pretty. Little things in life right.
- Daddy's financial wisdom - at dinner tonight, Dad suggested we sell my car since I can't drive for a while. With my eyes all funky I'm not willing to put Jonathan in any kind of danger as far as that goes. We're going to look into it. Will save us some money with only one car payment too. Daddy is so wise!
- This mountain called brain cancer - this is a big mountain to climb, but I serve a God of the mountain and valley. I'm glad I have him to climb it with. He's taught me lots already and I know I'll learn lots more in years to come.
Alright guys, thanks for hanging in there. That was entirely too long and the ones following shouldn't be so lengthy. Just lots to report. I'll keep you updated on chemo/radiation treatments and all that the best I can. This is the best way to get any updates on anything with this mountain. I'm a terrible phone person, so please don't be offended if it takes me a long time to call you back. I don't know why, but I like to type and email better than talk on the phone. My dad said you need to get over that. It's not personal. People like to hear from you. Know that I am working on it. Now it's your turn for a patience test. Maybe you'll do better than me.
I'm going to bed. I'm pretty dang tired and I have a few appointments tomorrow. Gotta get ready to run around. It's good for me right?
I just want to try on my wig! Pray the devil will leave me the heck alone. He stinks. But I have JESUS on my side and in His name Satan can't touch me. Ha. If I had a baseball bat, I would have done my best to beat the crap out of that guy.
Until next time ... keep growing in Jesus. Open yourself up and He will fill you. He is faithful and is the provider of all things!!!
Love y'all so much! Thank you for everything! Keep praying and growing in the Lord. I'm praying for you. Many of you by name. :)
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
We have a destination!
Ok y'all. Sorry for such a long gap. I don't have too much, but I do have some new news. We went to a follow up appt today to remove stitches and talk about where we were going.
The stitches removal didn't hurt at all. The PA did a great job. Then he took a look at a rash I've had the past couple days. Thought it was a reaction to the steroid. (Which I'll be SO glad to be done with. It's made me eat so very much, not sleep hardly at all and hold water like I'm pregnant. So I now have a fat face again. :))
Then we talked with the surgeon scheduler and she told us that we are indeeed moving to Washington DC. Surgery, chemo, and radiation will all happen there, too. We just don't know when we'll be leaving yet. Andrew has already called his Commander and so he's starting things on the Army side, meaning reassignment.
So there it is! We'll be living in Washington DC for the next year or so. We're both pretty excited and can't wait to start our new normal.
Things to pray for:
1. Army has a program for exceptional family member situations. That this will kick in with me so Andrew can help me on the days following chemo and radiation, if/when it knocks me out.
2. Finding a house. If we need to buy or rent. We've never shopped for a house before. No money for a down payment either, but I'm sure there's help out there for that right?
3. Andrew will enjoy his job wherever and with whatever he will be doing. God has gifted Andrew in so many ways, I'd just hate to see him be put somewhere that he dreads to go every day.
4. Connection with a new church. God is going to provide this just like he did in AZ, I know it.
Okay, that's really it for now. I'll post more when I know more.
Oh, and thank you for the prayers!! I am operating on them, so don't stop! God is still working in so very much and I know He's not done.
The stitches removal didn't hurt at all. The PA did a great job. Then he took a look at a rash I've had the past couple days. Thought it was a reaction to the steroid. (Which I'll be SO glad to be done with. It's made me eat so very much, not sleep hardly at all and hold water like I'm pregnant. So I now have a fat face again. :))
Then we talked with the surgeon scheduler and she told us that we are indeeed moving to Washington DC. Surgery, chemo, and radiation will all happen there, too. We just don't know when we'll be leaving yet. Andrew has already called his Commander and so he's starting things on the Army side, meaning reassignment.
So there it is! We'll be living in Washington DC for the next year or so. We're both pretty excited and can't wait to start our new normal.
Things to pray for:
1. Army has a program for exceptional family member situations. That this will kick in with me so Andrew can help me on the days following chemo and radiation, if/when it knocks me out.
2. Finding a house. If we need to buy or rent. We've never shopped for a house before. No money for a down payment either, but I'm sure there's help out there for that right?
3. Andrew will enjoy his job wherever and with whatever he will be doing. God has gifted Andrew in so many ways, I'd just hate to see him be put somewhere that he dreads to go every day.
4. Connection with a new church. God is going to provide this just like he did in AZ, I know it.
Okay, that's really it for now. I'll post more when I know more.
Oh, and thank you for the prayers!! I am operating on them, so don't stop! God is still working in so very much and I know He's not done.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Unexpected blessing. Guess I should get used to these :)
So I'm the type of person that needs to get out every day. Walking, library, the store ... something. I used to enjoy staying at home and reading, but I gotta do something.
I was craving some grapes and jello and so Andrew took me out to Walmart. It was so nice to get out with the baby and just walk around. So, we did all of our shopping and got to the checkout line. The cashier asked us if there was anything interesting in life going on for us. Andrew said, "Yeah, some pretty life-changing stuff." I told our guy that I had brain cancer and he was pretty surprised. Guess the scar on my head is starting to blend in, because he didn't notice. So he thought it was great that I was smiling even though I just found out I had cancer. I told him I had nothing to worry about since God was going to take care of it all. Then we got to talking about salvation and how good God is.
I shouldn't be surprised by these little bits of encouragement from the Lord. I've asked for them and He's faithful.
Right now, God is teaching me patience. I'm waiting to hear from the surgeon about when the next surgery will be and where we will be moving. I'm ready to start looking at where we will be settling for the next year or so.
Oh ... and here are some things Randy Youngblood sent out in a email that I thought were pretty cool. Things to praise God for from the last week.
* The procedure she apparently needs done was originated by HER doctor in Seattle.
* Lindsey and Andrew had been in the Sierra Vista hospital just before they left but the problem wasn't discovered allowing her to be at the Seattle hospital.
More blessings to come ... I'm sure of it!
I was craving some grapes and jello and so Andrew took me out to Walmart. It was so nice to get out with the baby and just walk around. So, we did all of our shopping and got to the checkout line. The cashier asked us if there was anything interesting in life going on for us. Andrew said, "Yeah, some pretty life-changing stuff." I told our guy that I had brain cancer and he was pretty surprised. Guess the scar on my head is starting to blend in, because he didn't notice. So he thought it was great that I was smiling even though I just found out I had cancer. I told him I had nothing to worry about since God was going to take care of it all. Then we got to talking about salvation and how good God is.
I shouldn't be surprised by these little bits of encouragement from the Lord. I've asked for them and He's faithful.
Right now, God is teaching me patience. I'm waiting to hear from the surgeon about when the next surgery will be and where we will be moving. I'm ready to start looking at where we will be settling for the next year or so.
Oh ... and here are some things Randy Youngblood sent out in a email that I thought were pretty cool. Things to praise God for from the last week.
* The procedure she apparently needs done was originated by HER doctor in Seattle.
* Lindsey and Andrew had been in the Sierra Vista hospital just before they left but the problem wasn't discovered allowing her to be at the Seattle hospital.
More blessings to come ... I'm sure of it!
Monday, January 2, 2012
I have been so blessed to recognize God's hand in all of this brain tumor and cancer stuff. He prepared so many things before we even arrived here in WA it just couldn't be anything or anyone else but Him.
I should probably start from the beginning to let everyone know how it all started. At the beginning of the month, I had some tension headaches that wouldn't go away and advil and tylenol was really cutting it. I couldn't think of any super stressful situations that would cause me to just have a flare up.
I went to the Army doctor to try to get a referral for a chiropractor since my neck was so stiff. She told me she thought a neck massage would do the trick. It felt good but I couldn't lay on my stomach. It was like an instant headache that way.
I had my first migraine a week before Christmas 2011. Not fun! I just remember thinking, "If I throw up, I'll feel so much better." Well that didn't help. I jumped in the tub, because I was so cold and what really made me scared is when I tried to talk to Andrew and only half syllables would come out. I knew something big was happening then. I also knew I needed an IV for some kind of pain killer. I hate needles so to voluntarily get in the car and know that was coming was a big step.
Anyway, we went to the hospital in town, didn't wait too long at all. I remember the nurse getting mad at me for not having socks on. Andrew grabbed two right black flip flops so I couldn't wear them. lol.
I think it was there they tested me for mono with a throat swab and nasal swab. Man, that wasn't fun. Never had a nasal swab before. Felt like she stuck a q-tip in my brain. All that came back negative. They didn't diagnose me with a migraine but said that's most likely what I experienced. I remember thinking it was weird when they gave me a coke to drink. Thought you were supposed to stay away from caffeine with those things.
So we arrived in WA to see Andrew's parents and what a blessing it has been to be in a place with family. Oh my word! They baby did okay traveling. Fought sleep the first flight and then gave in the next. Totally thought headaches would eventually go away. Just tough it out. I'm so very thankful for doctors, but don't like going to them. You never know what they want to test you for. I don't really care about that anymore. :)
After going to an ER in Tumwater, I think, I rode an ambulance to the University of WA hospital. Harborview Medical Center. My care in that hospital was amazing. I don't think hospitals and nurses usually go out of their way like those did. It's embarrassing enough to have to go to the bathroom in a bucket and have someone clean up after you and my nurses were great. One of them took my Mom and Dad out to dinner on their last night in town. I was blown away by her generosity. I was self conscious and smelling bad from not having a bath in a few days and she went and bought me some lotion, soap, underwear, sunglasses and a bunch of other things to make me feel special. Oh she also bought me some pajama pants and shorts and they had a matching blanket for Jonathan. She had to spent at least $50. Lord bless her, please.
I remember praying with the guy who drilled into my brain the first time. I had to make sure I got a picture with the guy who saved my life. Pretty important dude. I told them surgeons when I went into the OR I felt like I was Grey's Anatomy. They thought that was funny.
I didn't like the feeling after surgery. I felt like I weighed 500 lbs. It was weird having to feel like I had to lift my neck to breathe and then have trouble doing that. Not looking forward to that feeling coming again. Just gotta do it. I feel like I need to be wearing NIKE shirts all the time ... Just Do It. Or make my own that say "Letting God Take It"
I was able to go to church with my in laws yesterday. I'm SO glad I did. I wasn't going to, but I didn't want to miss out on ANYTHING God had to say to me. He used music this week. I think that will be common. I have a feeling I'll cry much more during worship now. Anyway, one of the songs was saying "Jesus, don't pass me by" Man I just felt like a little girl sitting on the floor reaching up to Daddy crying out "Don't forget me! I know you hear each whisper and see each tear of fear. Just hold my hand. I need you so much!" Then I was overwhelmed with such a grateful heart for God's presence and I just feel His love for me. I know He cares and sees every single step of this journey. I know because of the things He's already made happen.
Sorry this is a long post. Almost done.
A HUGE blessing during this past week was having my parents here. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was shocked at how quick they made it out. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I saw them. It's amazing the added comfort that came with having them there. I think my Dad was one of the first people I wanted to see after surgery. Besides Andrew of course.
I'm glad they're home now though. I know it had to be a long week on them. Who wants to sleep in a hospital waiting room and just sit around all day. I would have been bored out of my mind. I'm glad they were able to see some of Seattle though. They've never been out this far west before.
So that's it for now. I'm looking forward to keeping everyone updated through this and I will do my best to be consistent. I'm not great at journaling my thoughts. I'll be sharing verses, songs, and devotions of how God makes Himself real to me. I'm looking forward to this hike.
I should probably start from the beginning to let everyone know how it all started. At the beginning of the month, I had some tension headaches that wouldn't go away and advil and tylenol was really cutting it. I couldn't think of any super stressful situations that would cause me to just have a flare up.
I went to the Army doctor to try to get a referral for a chiropractor since my neck was so stiff. She told me she thought a neck massage would do the trick. It felt good but I couldn't lay on my stomach. It was like an instant headache that way.
I had my first migraine a week before Christmas 2011. Not fun! I just remember thinking, "If I throw up, I'll feel so much better." Well that didn't help. I jumped in the tub, because I was so cold and what really made me scared is when I tried to talk to Andrew and only half syllables would come out. I knew something big was happening then. I also knew I needed an IV for some kind of pain killer. I hate needles so to voluntarily get in the car and know that was coming was a big step.
Anyway, we went to the hospital in town, didn't wait too long at all. I remember the nurse getting mad at me for not having socks on. Andrew grabbed two right black flip flops so I couldn't wear them. lol.
I think it was there they tested me for mono with a throat swab and nasal swab. Man, that wasn't fun. Never had a nasal swab before. Felt like she stuck a q-tip in my brain. All that came back negative. They didn't diagnose me with a migraine but said that's most likely what I experienced. I remember thinking it was weird when they gave me a coke to drink. Thought you were supposed to stay away from caffeine with those things.
So we arrived in WA to see Andrew's parents and what a blessing it has been to be in a place with family. Oh my word! They baby did okay traveling. Fought sleep the first flight and then gave in the next. Totally thought headaches would eventually go away. Just tough it out. I'm so very thankful for doctors, but don't like going to them. You never know what they want to test you for. I don't really care about that anymore. :)
After going to an ER in Tumwater, I think, I rode an ambulance to the University of WA hospital. Harborview Medical Center. My care in that hospital was amazing. I don't think hospitals and nurses usually go out of their way like those did. It's embarrassing enough to have to go to the bathroom in a bucket and have someone clean up after you and my nurses were great. One of them took my Mom and Dad out to dinner on their last night in town. I was blown away by her generosity. I was self conscious and smelling bad from not having a bath in a few days and she went and bought me some lotion, soap, underwear, sunglasses and a bunch of other things to make me feel special. Oh she also bought me some pajama pants and shorts and they had a matching blanket for Jonathan. She had to spent at least $50. Lord bless her, please.
I remember praying with the guy who drilled into my brain the first time. I had to make sure I got a picture with the guy who saved my life. Pretty important dude. I told them surgeons when I went into the OR I felt like I was Grey's Anatomy. They thought that was funny.
I didn't like the feeling after surgery. I felt like I weighed 500 lbs. It was weird having to feel like I had to lift my neck to breathe and then have trouble doing that. Not looking forward to that feeling coming again. Just gotta do it. I feel like I need to be wearing NIKE shirts all the time ... Just Do It. Or make my own that say "Letting God Take It"
I was able to go to church with my in laws yesterday. I'm SO glad I did. I wasn't going to, but I didn't want to miss out on ANYTHING God had to say to me. He used music this week. I think that will be common. I have a feeling I'll cry much more during worship now. Anyway, one of the songs was saying "Jesus, don't pass me by" Man I just felt like a little girl sitting on the floor reaching up to Daddy crying out "Don't forget me! I know you hear each whisper and see each tear of fear. Just hold my hand. I need you so much!" Then I was overwhelmed with such a grateful heart for God's presence and I just feel His love for me. I know He cares and sees every single step of this journey. I know because of the things He's already made happen.
Sorry this is a long post. Almost done.
A HUGE blessing during this past week was having my parents here. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was shocked at how quick they made it out. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I saw them. It's amazing the added comfort that came with having them there. I think my Dad was one of the first people I wanted to see after surgery. Besides Andrew of course.
I'm glad they're home now though. I know it had to be a long week on them. Who wants to sleep in a hospital waiting room and just sit around all day. I would have been bored out of my mind. I'm glad they were able to see some of Seattle though. They've never been out this far west before.
So that's it for now. I'm looking forward to keeping everyone updated through this and I will do my best to be consistent. I'm not great at journaling my thoughts. I'll be sharing verses, songs, and devotions of how God makes Himself real to me. I'm looking forward to this hike.
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