I have been so blessed to recognize God's hand in all of this brain tumor and cancer stuff. He prepared so many things before we even arrived here in WA it just couldn't be anything or anyone else but Him.

I should probably start from the beginning to let everyone know how it all started. At the beginning of the month, I had some tension headaches that wouldn't go away and advil and tylenol was really cutting it. I couldn't think of any super stressful situations that would cause me to just have a flare up.

I went to the Army doctor to try to get a referral for a chiropractor since my neck was so stiff. She told me she thought a neck massage would do the trick. It felt good but I couldn't lay on my stomach. It was like an instant headache that way.

I had my first migraine a week before Christmas 2011. Not fun! I just remember thinking, "If I throw up, I'll feel so much better." Well that didn't help. I jumped in the tub, because I was so cold and what really made me scared is when I tried to talk to Andrew and only half syllables would come out. I knew something big was happening then. I also knew I needed an IV for some kind of pain killer. I hate needles so to voluntarily get in the car and know that was coming was a big step.

Anyway, we went to the hospital in town, didn't wait too long at all. I remember the nurse getting mad at me for not having socks on. Andrew grabbed two right black flip flops so I couldn't wear them. lol.

I think it was there they tested me for mono with a throat swab and nasal swab. Man, that wasn't fun. Never had a nasal swab before. Felt like she stuck a q-tip in my brain. All that came back negative. They didn't diagnose me with a migraine but said that's most likely what I experienced. I remember thinking it was weird when they gave me a coke to drink. Thought you were supposed to stay away from caffeine with those things.

So we arrived in WA to see Andrew's parents and what a blessing it has been to be in a place with family. Oh my word! They baby did okay traveling. Fought sleep the first flight and then gave in the next. Totally thought headaches would eventually go away. Just tough it out. I'm so very thankful for doctors, but don't like going to them. You never know what they want to test you for. I don't really care about that anymore. :)

After going to an ER in Tumwater, I think, I rode an ambulance to the University of WA hospital. Harborview Medical Center. My care in that hospital was amazing. I don't think hospitals and nurses usually go out of their way like those did. It's embarrassing enough to have to go to the bathroom in a bucket and have someone clean up after you and my nurses were great. One of them took my Mom and Dad out to dinner on their last night in town. I was blown away by her generosity. I was self conscious and smelling bad from not having a bath in a few days and she went and bought me some lotion, soap, underwear, sunglasses and a bunch of other things to make me feel special. Oh she also bought me some pajama pants and shorts and they had a matching blanket for Jonathan. She had to spent at least $50. Lord bless her, please.

I remember praying with the guy who drilled into my brain the first time. I had to make sure I got a picture with the guy who saved my life. Pretty important dude. I told them surgeons when I went into the OR I felt like I was Grey's Anatomy. They thought that was funny.

I didn't like the feeling after surgery. I felt like I weighed 500 lbs. It was weird having to feel like I had to lift my neck to breathe and then have trouble doing that. Not looking forward to that feeling coming again. Just gotta do it. I feel like I need to be wearing NIKE shirts all the time ... Just Do It. Or make my own that say "Letting God Take It"

I was able to go to church with my in laws yesterday. I'm SO glad I did. I wasn't going to, but I didn't want to miss out on ANYTHING God had to say to me. He used music this week. I think that will be common. I have a feeling I'll cry much more during worship now. Anyway, one of the songs was saying "Jesus, don't pass me by" Man I just felt like a little girl sitting on the floor reaching up to Daddy crying out "Don't forget me! I know you hear each whisper and see each tear of fear. Just hold my hand. I need you so much!" Then I was overwhelmed with such a grateful heart for God's presence and I just feel His love for me. I know He cares and sees every single step of this journey. I know because of the things He's already made happen.

Sorry this is a long post. Almost done.

A HUGE blessing during this past week was having my parents here. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was shocked at how quick they made it out. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I saw them. It's amazing the added comfort that came with having them there. I think my Dad was one of the first people I wanted to see after surgery. Besides Andrew of course.

I'm glad they're home now though. I know it had to be a long week on them. Who wants to sleep in a hospital waiting room and just sit around all day. I would have been bored out of my mind. I'm glad they were able to see some of Seattle though. They've never been out this far west before.

So that's it for now. I'm looking forward to keeping everyone updated through this and I will do my best to be consistent. I'm not great at journaling my thoughts. I'll be sharing verses, songs, and devotions of how God makes Himself real to me. I'm looking forward to this hike.